The first annual Alumnit Christmas party seems to have been a success, with almost nobody killed or MIA. And they even had special fireworks just for us!
During the aforementioned party someone from next door came to visit to ask us to keep the door closed, because when it's open noise will leak into the hallway and then into other people's rooms. They said this was because they were "filming a movie."
I've now gotten some clarification: two apartments on my floor are actually being rented to a Quebecois reality TV show which has been going on for several weeks. This explains in a much more understandable, yet somehow disappointing way, why I've met so many astonishingly beautiful French women wandering the halls around there lately.
ssh+2FA to all your machines, anywhere, without opening firewall ports.