Evil Death Ray Job Posting (circa 2001)

There's something funny about you - things explode when you touch them. You're pretty sure by now that it's not just static electricity. Your Mom had you checked out at the church, and you seem to be demon-free. So what's the problem?

You have the Evil Touch. You know, without knowing it, what you need to do to make something not work, and that's why we want *you* to work - for us. Profoundly capable of following instructions - badly - you'll execute test plans and use your patented "Testing by Poking Around" techniques to find bugs by random chance (or is that skill?). Then you'll learn from your experience, adding and updating test plans until a lesser individual won't be able to miss it next time.

You know how to write programs, but it doesn't interest you that much. Does that confine you to a life of just poking at stuff forever? Not necessarily. While you're here, you'll gain valuable experience in the software development process, customer requirements, and bug prioritization. You'll see how an award-winning company does its thing, and if you're great enough, you can start the next step in your deadly career: you can become a NITI Evil Visionary!

Make sure you have experience in several of the following areas:

Diplomacy
Breaking things
Hands-on experience in IT environments and general Linux and Windows system administration
Buffer overruns, symlink attacks, setuid programs, and other kinds of security exploits (please don't explain your security exploit experience in too much detail - we'd rather not know)
Network services and servers such as TCP/IP networking, firewalls, VPNs, Web and Email
Benchmarking and stress testing

This job is well suited for social outcasts or those who enjoy working with happy, friendly, productive people and making them cry.

(This position is available in either Toronto or Montreal.)

If this sounds like you, please e-mail us at [removed].